One of the most common misconceptions about divorce is that true revenge is possible. Terminating a marriage can be a stressful and emotionally draining experience for many couples, and it is only natural for you to feel hurt. Instead of taking these emotions out on your spouse, your attorney, or the judge, here are a few reasons why you should reconsider trying to “win” your divorce case.
Division of Assets
No matter what your family members or friends have told you about divorce, each case is different, and it is unlikely that you will be awarded the same or similar assets as another person. The judge will aim to split assets as fairly as possible, with 50/50 splits being ideal but not guaranteed. For example, you may get the spousal support payment that you want, but the child custody agreement may not be what you hoped for. Instead of listening to others who claim to have “won” or “lost” their divorce, listen to your attorney’s advice. They know how to get you the benefits and assets you need moving forward.
The real “winner” of the case should be your children. This process dismantles the family that they are accustomed to, and their interest is of the utmost importance. A quest for vengeance will only hurt your kids by further splitting the family dynamic. They will likely continue to spend time with your ex after the divorce, and they should not feel forced to choose a side in a situation that already feels awkward or tense to them.
Feelings of anger, resentment and hurt can prolong the process of divorce by making an individual acutely focused on obtaining every possible benefit from the negotiations. The process, at its fastest, is resolved 31 days after filing, but most cases take months or years to negotiate and finalize. These cases are lengthened by choosing litigation over mediation, and this extra time and expense can heighten current arguments. You should have a reasonable expectation of the time that your case will take and be understanding of the complications that often arise.
Georgia code (O.C.G.A. § 19-5-3) allows judges to grant a total divorce for a number of fault-based reasons as well as on no-fault grounds. With this ruling possible, the judge does not need to know all of the hurt that your spouse has inflicted on you over the years. They have a great deal of experience with family disputes and divorce, and your case will not shock them. The judge is simply there to terminate the marriage legally and rule on the division of assets, the need for spousal support, the child custody agreement and other arrangements. Your search for moral support and empathy should be found in your friends and family rather than with your attorney or the court.
Instead of dwelling on the past and the issues that you have faced with your spouse, divorce can be a time for you to look toward and plan for the future. The only way to truly “win” a divorce is to compromise when necessary, remain cordial with your former spouse and pave a smooth path forward for your children. The high road may be a difficult path to take, but your family will be grateful that you did.
Do you need legal assistance for divorce or other issues related to family law?
At Andersen, Tate & Carr, our attorneys are dedicated to reaching the best possible outcome for our clients. Trinity Hundredmark heads our Domestic Relations Division. She is an experienced attorney with more than a decade of experience representing clients. For more information, or to request a virtual case evaluation, contact our law office at 1-770-467-3205.