Tips To Make Your Divorce Easier On The Entire Family
Ending a marriage can be one of the most difficult experiences of your life, whether the separation is amicable or not. There are financial hurdles, legal processes to navigate, and the emotional strain on the entire family. Typically, couples don’t decide to divorce overnight, meaning you have time to plan out the proceedings and mitigate some of the pressure. Making it an easier process can help keep any animosity at bay, and can cut down the time it takes to finalize the divorce. No two divorces are the same, but there are a few tips to help craft a better resolution for everyone.
Litigation Isn’t The Only Option
The majority of people assume divorce cases end up with both parties in a courtroom pleading their cases in front of a judge. While that can and does happen, there are other options that can make the process easier and keep you out of the courtroom. Mediation is one of the most common ways to settle a divorce. By using a neutral mediator, both parties can often find a middle ground that eliminates much of the bickering and fighting. Mediators have a goal of fairness instead of trying to get a “win” for either side. They can also be used for specific issues such as child custody.
Stop Seeking Revenge
Far too many people enter into divorce proceedings with the desire to get “justice.” It’s unsurprising that people are often angry and hurt when they go through a divorce, especially in cases of infidelity or financial dishonesty. While that behavior can affect alimony or custody, it is not the place to air grievances. No matter how much evidence you have about your spouse cheating on you, the judge had heard it all before. They are sympathetic and empathetic, but their decision has no bias because of someone’s behavior. Outside of abuse, severe addiction, or gross overspending, what caused the breakdown of the marriage isn’t the only issue. Trying to leverage the court to hurt your spouse will always backfire.
Know Your Finances
Having a firm understanding of your finances is key. Know your expenses, and income, and keep track of both. If there is a huge increase in spending, or money starts to disappear, you need to know about it and act accordingly. Before either party files for divorce, you may need to create separate accounts to prevent ugly arguments and entanglements over your finances. However, the timing of these events will be critical.
Meeting with a financial planner can be a great way to prepare. Divorce can be costly, and having someone outside the marriage to help guide you can give you and your spouse a stronger sense of security moving forward.
Don’t Involve The Kids
The “divorce talk” will be one of the hardest parts of separating. No matter the age of your children, there will be confusion, hurt feelings, and isolation. The most important thing to keep in mind is that any anger at your partner should stay far away from the children. It is easy to trash your spouse, but that behavior can affect how the children view you both. Don’t force them to choose or take sides. Keeping them out of any of the negativity will help make the divorce easier for them, and help create a more amicable custody agreement.
If your marriage is breaking down, it’s important to fully understand your options, so you and your spouse can make the decisions that are best for your unique circumstances. The attorneys at Andersen, Tate and Carr have the experience, compassion, and knowledge to make the process as easy as possible.
We’ve helped countless individuals through this difficult process. Our attorneys are committed to helping our clients achieve the best possible outcome, especially when there are children involved. Contact Trinity Hundredmark or Patrick McDonough for a private case evaluation.